It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

Last week I got an MRI on my fingers. I got it read just a few days ago and it wasn't very good news. Apparently I have chronic inflammation of all the tendon sheaths in both of my hands. My ring fingers hurt when I crimp because of the pressure I am putting on those fingers while they are swollen. Unfortunately, I do not have a timeline for when this injury will end. There is also no cure other than rest. However I am going to try massage therapy and acupuncture. I am also going to get a 2nd and maybe even a 3rd opinion about my fingers. Maybe someone will have a good idea that may help me return back to climbing sooner than later!

Even though life is really difficult and dull without climbing, I am trying to do the best I can to be happy. I strongly believe that things get worse before they get better.

I also believe that the recovery process of an injury is the same as one dealing with a illness or death. Last year, I created a book in my AP studio art class that illustrated my perspective on dealing with a death of some sort. I looked at this book today and I feel that I am going through the same recovery process now. There are no words, but each pages describes a different phase of tragedy and recovery.

Below is the illustrated book I am referring to. I am not going to explain the pages because I feel that the recovery process should be associated with emotions, not words. Therefore, everyone should interpret the book as they see it. That is the best part about artwork!

3 Months and Coaching

So it has been about 3 months since I stopped climbing...with the exception of a few days of attempting V1's. I feel like a broken record right now. I am just blogging about injury after injury. I feel like it is kind of boring. I am injured, still. I have no clue when I will be able to climb again. Maybe June? September? Good news though: I got my air cast off!! Whoop!

But I am not going keep blogging about my injuries today.

Youth ABS Nationals is on Friday and I am SO PSYCHED!! I have been working really hard with the climbing team and I feel that our team is ready to go. The team kids have worked so hard for this weekend and I know that they will do well. I am so interested to see how they place in comparison to the rest of the nation. This weekend will be a big learning curve for my coaching. Just like every other competition, I can earn from the other competitors. I can learn from the other coaches, the rankings, the styles of the climbs, the climbers. I think that going to this competition will help me with both the training of the team and my own training.

Last year was my first year coaching and three of the team kids went to ABS Nationals. Two of the kids placed in the 20's and the other placed 11th. This year, there are four team members from Worcester, two from Hadley. It is not many, but considering how hard our division is, I am very proud. I think that because our divisional was so hard, these kids will do great. Not to mention the training and nationals training camp Shane, Josh and I have put them through.

Last summer, I went to Youth SCS Nationals and stayed with my friends Sydney and Tyson. Tyson really opened my eyes up to what successful team is: Very strong and supportive of one another. Their team camaraderie was unmatchable to the other teams at the event. All of the kids were so proud to be a part of Vertical World Climbing Team. They also supported one another and really acted like some sort of crazy family. These kids didn't have massive ego's either. In fact, they didn't have any egos at all from what I saw. They were just confident competitors who were there to have fun with their friends and family...and crush. 

Seeing the Vertical World Team made me think of what my team could become. I came back to coaching in the fall with a new attitude: helping the kids not only get good at climbing, but to help them become confident, respectable young adults. I tried hard to get the kids decked out in Team Ascension gear, to get them excited about being a part of the team. With the help of the other coaches, I think that we are able to accomplish that and much more. I look at our climbing team and just think, "Wow, I am really proud right now". I can see that these kids care about one another and about climbing. They care about rock climbing lifestyle, not just the competition.

To coach this team make the pain I feel from injury go away. This team is something that I had always wanted, but never had. They are a family-like support group for one another, just as they are teammates and fellow competitors. I feel so accomplished to be a part of building this team. To offer someone else something that I could only dream of is a really, really great feeling.


Honestly, I think this climbing team is one of the only things getting me through this hard time of injury. I am glad to be a coach and I am glad to be working with some of the most supportive people I have ever met. Through everything I have gone through in the past couple of years, I never thought that coaching would be this gratifying.

Team Ascension! (There are a few missing, but Optimus Prime is serving as their replacement)

Accident Prone

I always thought that I was invincible, even when walking. I mean, who doesn't feel confident while walking? You always expect to have your feet hit the ground and to keep you moving to your destination. Well, that is where my confidence took a big blow the other night. I was demonstrating to a climbing team member how to properly drop knee. As I got off the foot holds that were 2 inches from the ground, I hit the padded floor wrong and rolled my ankle. What followed shortly was a giant cracking sound as I collapsed to the floor.

Well long story short, I fractured my ankle. Usually when someone rolls an ankle, their ligaments stretch which produces a sprain. In my case, my ligaments are "so healthy" (says my doctor) that instead of stretching, they stayed tight and quite literally chopped a piece of my bone off. So I have what is what is called an evulsion fracture. Now along with my tendovaginitis, I have a nice air cast to wear for four weeks.

I used to think my friend Matt was the definition of accident prone...I think I just proved that wrong.

Seriously though, this is super lame. I am really, really bummed out right now. I just started P90X two weeks ago! However, I can't be depressed about this situation. I mean, how could I have prevented this injury? Also, I can still do P90X. Just not the plyometrics (That's okay though; I hated the plyo anyways).

When things like this happen, I feel like the most important thing to do is to keep your head up and stay optimistic. My motto since I was ten has been "shit happens". Really, it does and there is nothing you can do about it. Just make the best of it.

Through these past two months I have learned and experienced much more than I ever have while climbing. I have been hanging out with a really inspiring group of friends that I met at the gym. I would have never became friends with them if I didn't get injured because I was always so focused on training. They are truly a great support group. I have never had such a great group of friends like them, and it means a lot to me that these people care. I also just moved into a new hall at my school with a bunch of really great people. Being sociable with all of these people and focusing on things like coaching are what is keeping me inspired. Coaching has been the most amazing experience these past couple of months. The teams are doing amazing and I really feel accomplished when I see these kids succeed. You can say that I am living through them in a way, but I feel that I am more proud of what I am building and sharing in their pride.

Now, going back to the "shit happens" motto...I really decided that it was going to be my motto when I lacerated my spleen. When I was ten I tried to dyno to a tree branch and missed it. I wound up falling ten feet down to the ground and punching myself in the spleen. My mother drove me to the hospital where I was life flighted to a larger hospital all while going into shock. I had a 3rd degree laceration of my spleen (one more degree of hurt and I would have ruptured it). The doctor said that if I had gotten to the hospital just 10 minutes later, I would have died. After this incident, I realized that there are some things in life you cannot control. Yes, life can get frustrating at times; but since then I have always felt that life should be lived optimistically. Living through the hard times will just make you stronger and more knowledgeable. If you try and be optimistic, you will gain a lot from the experience. That is how I feel right now. My year of being 19 is off to a rough start, but I have learned so much from my friends, my diversity in workouts, coaching, and the climbing books that I have read. Even though this is a rather depressing situation, I am making the best of it. This has been the longest time I have taken off from climbing, but hopefully I can grow stronger from this. I mean, I am only 19. I am lucky that is just a stupid fracture rather than a life supported coma.

Anyways, that is really a day in the life of Melissa Godowski. I also decided that I am going to go pro at guitar hero. Surprisingly, it is good rehab for my fingers!
(notice I am wearing one 5.10 chase shoe...just in case things get crazy)

Doin' the finger rehab and rockin' the boot!

Too bad I won't be competing at ABS Nationals this year. Oh well, there is always next year.

P90X

So I have been going to hand therapy for the last two weeks. I have been seen by multiple hand therapists at one time as they work together trying to further diagnose my condition. I guess my injury isn't something they see everyday. One of the therapists said that she was just so excited to work with someone other than an old person. I laughed at that and I really am happy that this Umass hand therapy office has taken such an interest in me! It is like I am a star!

Unfortunately, my current diagnosis does not seem very good. My intrinsic muscles in my hand are apparently exhausted from climbing so much. My extrinsic muscles in my hand are also very under-developed. With those two issues, all of the stress has been placed on my fingers and my tendons sheaths essentially became destroyed. They therapists think that I have adhesions built up in my tendon sheaths, which is constricting my tendon. So when I crimp, it hurts. When I am not putting weight on my ring fingers, it is fine. That being said, they do not think that i will be climbing until March. Super sad face. I also apologize if I am not using the correct medical terminology; this is all very new to me.

Although I am injured, I feel like I can take away a lot from this experience. I have read a lot of books about climbing and have been putting more of my focus on coaching. Last week, I decided to start P90X. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a 90 day at-home fitness program that gets the body "ripped". I strongly believe that if I go through this program correctly, I will get in what might be the best shape of my life. I have always wanted to try this workout, but climbing has always gotten in the way. Now that I have the time, I am dedicating myself to this fitness program and also to a nutrition plan. My goal is to prove that P90X can really give you a "ripped body". I also want to lose 2% of my body fat. I am at 17% now but would like to be at 15% for when I begin climbing again. I decided to cut out all of the saturated fats and bad sugars that I am eating. So bye, bye skittles, burgers, cheese, ice cream, cookies, etc!! (We shall see how long this lasts). Essentially I just want to be more healthy.

So it is week 2 of P90X for me! The first week was brutal. However I am already feeling stronger. The P90X instructor also advises us P90X-ers to take photos on day 1, 30, 60, and 90. Here is a picture from my day one. Maybe we will see results? I am hoping so because I have lost a bit of muscle from all of my non-climbing these past 8 weeks. Also, I hope you don't mind my crazy attire.

Day 1 of P90X

I am somewhat looking forward to the next 12 weeks of P90X! I am doing it with a few friends and it has actually been quite fun! The friends and the load of workouts is helping me keep my mind off of the fact that I can't compete in any national or world championship events this year. Oh well that's life. Hopefully by the time these 90 days are over I will be healed and ready to climb again!

Diagnosis

I have been on a break from climbing for 5 weeks now...this is killing me. I haven't taken off this much time since I was 17. For the past 3 weeks I haven't done any other strengthening exercises other than aerobics and core. I keep catching myself thinking: How did this happen?

So today I went to a hand specialist. I went to Dr. Dietz last spring for my past finger injury. He sees a lot of climbers and was able to easily diagnose my finger and then send me on my way with a taping method that let me train for the Vail World Cup. At the office I had him look at my two ring fingers, my right middle finger, and my left wrist. He told me that I have tendovaginitis in both ring fingers and in my wrist. My wrist was originally diagnosed as a muscle hernia (Dr. Dietz laughed at this...apparently he doesn't like Dr. Barret, whom I saw for my wrist last month). However, by resting and not doing any pulling on it has allowed my wrist to heal enough to do pull-ups again! My middle finger was diagnosed with pulley strain (which is something I have always struggled with in that finger).

To further explain tendovaginitis, it is the inflammation of the tendon sheaths. This occurs from overuse. What is odd about my case is that my fingers do not hurt until I actually try and crimp...and I don't close hand crimp. Many who are diagnosed with this usually have trouble making a fist and can be mislead into thinking they ruptured a pulley...so maybe there is hope?

I don't know how long it will take to heal. Dr. Dietz said that it could take up to 6-8 more weeks. Until then, I can experiment with taping, climb lightly to test it, do pull-ups...and just wait it out. I am also going to do occupational therapy.


So again I come to the question: How did this happen? Well obviously overuse. But really I had three major flaws in my training:

1: I overlooked the fact that it was fall and that I would be climbing outside on the weekends. So during my training weeks I didn't take the weekends into consideration.

2: I didn't do any antagonist muscle training. This is probably the most important thing that I have overlooked. The fact that I knew I had to do antagonist muscle training but didn't because I was unsure what to do...just plain stupid. Even though I was in school, I should have made the time to at least look it up. Not only is this important for me, but it is important for the climbing team kids as well.

3: I didn't rest enough. I heard a great saying the other day, "You don't get stronger on your training days, you get stronger on your rest days." I just don't understand how I messed that up. Looking back I think that I just got over-excited. I tend to gain too much confidence in my body's healing abilities and then over-train. That has been my downfall since I was born. I always get over-confident and will take things to the extreme until something gives. I just need to take a step back and slow down.

As I continue to heal I find myself asking another question: How can I learn from this? And I really mean that. Obviously I haven't learned anything from my past mistakes and I feel that this is the time to really buckle down and force myself to learn. At least I have taken the first step and decided to study exercise science. Now that I am on a break from school, I am reading climbing and training books like crazy! Currently I am reading Training for Climbing and One Move Too Many. I think I can also learn from other coaches and fellow climbers. Being around many talented co-workers has helped me put my efforts into coaching and organizing the team. Overall, I hope to gain much more out of this rest period than the strength and time I have lost.

It pains me to think that I will not be able to compete at ABS Nationals this year. This will be the first time in 4 years I have not competed at a National event. There is a teeny possibility that I may heal in time to compete, but is it really worth it? Is it worth risking my health, money, and time? Honestly that is a question that I am still trying to answer. Maybe I will be stupid and go, maybe I won't. However I am looking forward to having a free summer. Hopefully I can take a trip out to Colorado, other "colder" places, or maybe internationally if the weather is good enough. All thoughts that can't be answered yet, but will in time.

Been Reading A Lot

With a break from school and more free time now that I'm not climbing, I've been doing a lot of reading. I'm actually pretty psyched on all of these books and I'm happy that I'm taking the time to read them. I just feel this information is worth knowing and (forgive me for being nerdy) I am really enjoying reading this stuff.

Frustration

So it has been a month since I last posted. The last day I posted was the last day that I rock climbed on anything. Plastic, hangboard, door jams, real rock, buildings, etc. It has been a busy month so it has been bearable to take time off. I've been doing a lot of biking and treadmilling and my cardio is really feeling great! I've also been reading lots of different training books to help expand my knowledge of coaching. I also managed to get a 3.6 GPA for my first semester of college!

So this all seems so great and really it is! I think that I needed a month off...but now that month is over. Well, in reality it is over in about 5 days. But now that the holidays are coming to an end and my semester is over...and I am getting pretty sick of not climbing. So I tried to climb today...

...This did not go so well. I climbed fine on V1's and traversing. Even on jug haul 5.10's up in the lead cave nothing hurt. However as soon as I hit a mini jug, I felt searing pain in my ring fingers. On my left ring finger I cannot even hold my weight! It is just limp which is surprising since I am able to make a fist and do open hand moves just fine. I don't even close hand crimp ever! So before I stopped climbing for the day I did a little taping experiment. I found out that I could use mini jugs pain free if I taped both knuckles on my ring fingers. This is leading me to believe that I may have a fracture or sprain of some sort.

Unfortunately, I went to an orthopedist who totally sucked at diagnosing my wrist. However after taking this amount of time off, my wrist is fine. So, whats with the fingers? I just don't get why three and a half weeks have not helped at all. What am I doing wrong?

What is more upsetting is that a hand specialist won't be able to see me for another two weeks. Then they are most likely going to send me to get x-rays/MRI and then I will have to have another appointment maybe one or two weeks after that. Well listen. I took time off and it is winter. The Northeast sucks in the winter and I need climbing to just keep my spirits up! I also would like to compete at Nationals. Not even just compete; I want to go and do well.

Hopefully for the next few weeks I can find strength training methods that don't involve re-injuring my wrist or further injuring my fingers. I also hope that this heals so I can climb soon because I hate the feeling of having baby smooth hands.