Dark Horse 2013

Dark Horse 2013

Thursday, May 31, 2012

True Inspiration

Exactly a year ago, I was in a hotel room in Vail, Colorado anticipating the qualifying round of the Vail World Cup that would take place in the morning. I was the third youngest female competing. I had skipped my high school graduation to go to Vail saying, "I have to go; what if I never have the chance again?" However in reality I felt like this was the beginning to my professional climbing career. I envisioned myself competing in world cups for years to come.

Unfortunately, I did not foresee a finger injury lasting six months and counting. These past six months have been the most physical, mental, and emotional taxing months that I have ever endured in my entire life. Transitioning from high school to college, moving in an out of multiple places, having minor heart surgery, sinus infections, a broken ankle, having my car constantly break down, and getting asthma attacks have not been helping my non-climbing experience. Through this time period, I felt like I had reached a breaking point and then just kept drifting away. I became so broken down that I felt like I was stuck and could never pick myself up. Things like reading climbing books, doing p90x, eating right, and just being fit in general didn't seem appealing anymore. I felt pretty depressed for few months. Although recently I have realized something: These past six months I would not trade for the world.

You are probably thinking why? All of that sounds pretty shitty. But through this time I have learned more about myself than I ever would have if I had kept climbing. Becoming a pessimist and hating the world is something that I just needed to experience. I needed to realize who I really am and why climbing means so much to me. Even though these past several months have been terrible, I recently have had the time to rest from most of my stressors. These past couple of weeks has let me reflect on these months. Turning my optimism back on, I have realized that life has become truly inspiring.

This "true inspiration" I am talking about is not just my life, but life as a whole. I have had the chance to talk to people who have gone through things that I feel are much worse than what I am going through. With this time I have had the chance to experience intense emotions, which really can change a perspective if you let it. I have been able to look at life in a more delicate manner and also look at my accomplishments. For the first time I am actually proud of all my climbing accomplishments instead of feeling that I am still not good enough. Through this time I have been able to look at myself and realize that I love competition and have an unwavering motivation to do something great. This motivation is what made me take this time to learn, appreciate life, and be inspired by it.

In recent news, I am still injured. I have started climbing jug hauls, which is great, but not satisfying. I have decided to broaden my fitness horizons. I recently began running, which is something I used to (and still sort of) hate. I also signed up for a 4 month crossfit membership. My crossfit training begins Monday. For the first time I am getting excited to try something physical that does not involve climbing! However I would love to try trad climbing this summer. So if anyone is in the New England area and wants a trad buddy, I will totally come! You will just have to teach me some stuff.

To conclude this lengthy blog post, I would like to thank my friends who have supported me through these past several months. If I had never taken the time off from climbing, I would not have become close with many of these people. I also hope that this blog post inspires someone to appreciate life. As much as I hate not climbing, my life really is something great and I feel that I have become a better person because of these past several months. And whether I am able to return to climbing or not, I will find something that I can strive to be the best in.