Dark Horse 2013

Dark Horse 2013

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Heart of Steel, or a head full of stupidity?

Listen to your heart, that's what they all say. That all seems to work out just fine in movies, but what about in real life?

Yesterday I competed in the Heart Ov Zteel. Overall, I think that the Boston Rock Gym crew is a great job! All of the climbs were phenomenal and the finals were spectacular. I just wish that I had the chance to have fun. See, I have had the worst chain of events. I have had some terribly obscure injuries and obstacles I've had to climb to get where I am now. This past week I have been terribly sick with a sinus cold.....no fun. I thought it would be better by the comp, but I was in terrible shape.

So, why show up? Well I have been thinking about that. It is because I decided to listen to my heart. My heart told me to go climb, go place, get my name out there. But, my body said: fuck you. Every comp I've competed in this year I have gave my all. Yesterday was no different. But, was it a smart idea? I was very sick and because of that by equilibrium was off and I had trouble aiming for holds. Not to mention by body felt 50 lbs heavier! Because of my physical state, I wound up injuring myself. I got my finger stuck in a pocket and hurt it. Luckily, nothing major. At the worst I fractured my knuckle, but it is too early to tell.

Some may say that I'm a fighter. That I did an amazing job despite the fact that I was sick. Others may say that I am stupid. They'll say my ego got to me and turned me into an asshole. Well, to be honest I should not have competed yesterday. I feel ebarrassed that I only grabbed 60 bucks off the wall because I know that I can do better. Yes, I was sick. But that is why I am stupid.

Why try and climb sick??? I have been grappling with that question all day. The fact is, I have been training hard and want to prove it. I climbed sick to prove to myself my love for climbing. I want to prove to myself that I will overcome any circumstance and still be great. And guess what, I proved it. But do I want to be know is the girl who always gets hurt and still makes it in? No! of course not! Even though I feel extremely embarrassed, I also feel at peace. I would have gone insane if I had stayed home on my couch drinking tea. I would have always wondered what may have happened if I gave it a shot.

So do I have a heart of steel or a head full of stupidity? Ehh...I'd love to say I have a heart of steel but I would make the same stupid mistake over again if I had the chance. Hopefully when I compete in the next UBC Pro Tour comp, medical staff will not have to rush to my side.